


Not-Bro-Love

by sin_grumps



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:44:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5552846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sin_grumps/pseuds/sin_grumps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>RATED M/EXPLICIT </p><p>Heyo! Be warned! This chapter contains some frickle-frackle! WHOA!</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arin doesn’t drink. That’s just something he’s decided on, from forever ago. He’s already incredibly hyper and loud and all that stuff anyway, and alcohol will probably make it like a thousand times worse. Especially since alcohol apparently blurs out people’s filters, and he is not planning on letting anything spill that he wouldn’t say sober.

But at the same time, he sometimes kind of wishes he could trust himself with it. Because there are some things he would like to pour out that he absolutely cannot do without having the ‘oh it was just the booze talking’ excuse. Odd things. Things he’s ashamed to think about. Things he’s not really fond of feeling.

Now is one of those times.

Jon is absolutely plastered (as usually happens when he decides to drink) and is currently trying to poke Arin in the face while simultaneously playing Banjo Tooie. Neither task is working particularly well for him, but at least he’s enjoying himself, Arin figures. He had to pick him up earlier before he made even more of a fool of himself. Or worse, passed out somewhere where no one would find him. Arin shudders a little at the thought of Jon just going missing because of something as stupid as drinking himself to the ground.

“Stay the fuck still, dude,” Jon suddenly says between his drunken little giggles. “Before I poke youurrr nose off!”

“Ow! Fuck!” Arin exclaims, having just gotten finger-slapped in the cheek, before laughing it off. “What is your deal, man? Just play the damn game.”

Jon scoffs. “Th’game sucks,” he says, which Arin knows is a blatant lie. “And yourr face is nice so fuck you.”

Arin rolls his eyes. “ _Your_ face is… red and shiny,” he falters, having gone for a playful insult, but instead focusing on actuality.

“Issat a proooblem?” Jon drawls, leaning in a little closer, which he absolutely should not do if Arin is supposed to keep his cool here.

“Usually not, but knowing that it’s because of the barrel-loads of booze you’ve drunk tonight, I’d say yeah, a little bit,” Arin says, knowing exactly how lame his response is.

Jon laughs anyway, so much that he seems to have forgotten that he was trying to play a video game. “Dude, okay, iwwas not baaarrels, okay?” he slurs, poking Arin’s cheek with the damn controller. “Buckets, maybe. Maaaybe.”

At that, Arin can’t help but let out a little chuckle of his own. “Yeah, maybe.” God. He can’t handle this side of Jon, he just can’t. The way he talks, the difference in his voice, even his behavior is all just about the most adorable thing Arin has ever witnessed. He loves this side of Jon even if he can be incredibly obnoxious and hard to deal with. Almost as much as he loves sober Jon.

Wait no, he doesn’t- That’s not- Nono, that’s not what it is.

Is it?

He looks over to Jon, whose glassy eyes are trying to focus back on him. Arin swallows. Oh God he thinks it is. But- that’s fine. That’s totally fine. So long as he stays sober all his life and never acts on any of the thoughts and feelings and whatever else, yes? Yes.

“Aaarin, is my shiny face preeetty?” he hears Jon ask him, and Arin has to take a moment to recollect his thoughts.

“I- what? Where did that come from?” he asks, dutifully ignoring the fact that the question totally just made his cheeks feel about forty percent hotter.

Jon giggles – fucking _giggles_ – and bites his lip. “You were starin’, Arin,” he says, clumsily pointing a finger up at him. “’Ss like you wanna take a good lookit this. In- aaall its fuckin’ majesty!”

Arin pauses for a moment. Because on one hand, yes, he does think Jon is attractive. In fact, he just might be one of the most handsome fuckers Arin has ever met or even had the pleasure to have around him. But on the other hand, does he want Jon to know that? What will that even do? Would Jon even remember that he said anything?

“You can say it, y’know,” Jon continues, as if he’s worried he’s overstepped some boundaries and no no come on absolutely not. “’Ss not gay or anythin’ if tha’ss what you’rre worried about.”

“That’s not- Dude, I’m fine with saying you’ve got a good face,” Arin says, hoping that Jon’s drunkenness makes him blind to how much he’s blushing and clenching his fists. Jon usually doesn’t remember anything that happens late on his drinking nights, right? Will it be safe to assume that he won’t recall anything Arin says now? “’Cause you do.”

“Juss good?” Jon says with a sorry little pout and God fucking damn it Arin is losing it he’s so fucking cute he’s just

“Alright, fine, you’re pretty,” Arin gives in, and the delightful little grin on Jon’s face makes him wish he was gutsy enough to elaborate.

Jon wails a little in excitement, and then out of fucking nowhere just crashes onto Arin, causing him to grunt in surprise as he falls back on the couch, now suddenly with an armful of giggly Jon on top of him. Shit shit shit, this is not good oh God Jon is far too close and this can be taken as way too cuddly but Arin is frozen on the spot, holding onto Jon in support so he doesn’t fall to the floor. Fuck, please let Jon be drunk enough not to realize Arin’s heart thumping incredibly hard and a mile a minute.

“Aaarin, you think I’m prettyyy,” Jon drawls and then giggles some more before he settles his face in the crook of Arin’s neck (nonono Jesus God no).

“Yeah well it’s probably more than what you think of me,” Arin says, attempting to be all jokey even though his mind is racing and he’s not sure if he should hold Jon closer or what he should even fucking _do_. There is a brief pause, and Arin is suddenly aware of the fact that Jon has pushed himself up a little and is staring down at him judgingly. His gaze is bleary and unfocused, but Arin can tell there’s something going on in Jon’s mind. He swallows nervously, now definitely wishing he was gutsier. “What?”

“Y’know what, Arin? Ffffuck youu,” Jon says, clumsily poking hard against Arin’s chest. “Youu are r’lly, r’lly cute ‘n super fuckin’ handsome an’ like whathhafuck are you talkin’ ‘bout?”

Arin huffs out a breath he was apparently holding, having to replay everything Jon just said – and not just because he couldn’t understand half of it because of how slurred it was. “I didn’t… say anything about that.”

“Yeah well you impliiied,” Jon whines, crashing back down on Arin, making him let out another grunt. “Fuck! Okay lookie here, you fuckin’ doosh,” Jon continues, his chin now firmly placed on Arin’s chest, and he’s staring at him as intently as his drunken state allows him to. “D’you fuckin’ know how frrust’ring it is to sit next to you ev’rday? ‘Ss hard, dude! ‘Cause you’rre like, super fuckin’ good-lookin’.”

The blushing and the heart pounding is going into overdrive, and Arin is pretty sure his throat has just become a desert. “You’re drunk, Jon.”

“And a drunken man’s words ‘re a sober man’s thoughts!” Jon insists with a grin. “Dude, don’t- Okay, fuck.” And now he’s climbing forward a little and he’s back with his face in Arin’s neck and oh God his mouth is by Arin’s ear nonono don’t do that no. “Don’t tell anyone,” Jon whispers harshly, “but I got this suuuper big not-bro-love for Egoraptor.”

Oh God. Oh fucking God. He’s off the fucking deep end. Jon is either fucking with him or actually telling the truth, and Arin isn’t sure which option would be more favorable. He shakily puts one hand on Jon’s back, wanting so much to tighten his hold on him.

“Does Egoraptor feel not-bro-love for JonTron?” Jon then asks and oh fuck why did that sound so shy oh God Arin might actually fucking die here. “Or is the breathing thing ‘cause I’m bein’ gross?”

“What?” Arin asks before he can stop himself, just then realizing that he has been panting nervously this whole time. Shit. If this is going to go where he thinks it is, then he’s already fucking it up. But oh God why can’t they both be sober for this. “No, no, it’s… I’m just--” Arin begins, and then unconsciously clenches his fist again, grabbing tightly onto Jon’s shirt. “You’re not being gross, Jon. I thought we already established that- you’re pretty.”

Jon giggles again, and okay good, that’s good, he’s not horrified. “Okay, but can you answer the firrst question too?” he says, his voice starting to sound a bit hoarse. And fuck, is he fucking nuzzling Arin’s neck oh God.

Arin is so conflicted. Because he wants to say it now. It’s a golden opportunity to. But Jon is so drunk he’s about to pass the fuck out on top of him, and probably won’t remember any of what’s been said.

Fuck it all.

“Yes. Egoraptor not-bro-loves JonTron too,” he says, trembling just a little as he does. Because holy shit he actually said it. And Jon won’t fucking remember. Arin feels Jon’s arm go around him, and he is suddenly being hugged tight and okay yes, this is snuggly and he fucking hates how much he likes this. “Very much, actually.”

“Yaaay,” Jon drawls happily and yup, he’s definitely nuzzling Arin’s neck. “Aaarin loves meee.”

Arin dares to smile a little at that. “Yeah, he does. Even if you’re drunk as all fuck and kinda crushing him.”

“I’m fat an’ you’rre juss gonna hafta deal with it,” Jon mumbles quietly as he tightens his hold on Arin. God, when did Jon become such a cuddler? “Big strong ox…”

At that, Arin actually laughs. “I deal with you on a daily basis, dude. Nothing new to me.”

Jon is quiet, and for a moment Arin wonders if he has passed out already. He then actually fucking feels lips brush against his neck and oh fuck no this can’t happen now. Not when Jon is in this state. “I wanna… do not-bro stuff,” Jon mumbles into Arin’s neck, and Arin can’t fucking help the shiver that goes down his spine as he all too quickly comes to the realization that he wants that stuff too. Just-

“Not when you’re like this, dude,” Arin tells him, hoping he doesn’t sound like he’s outright rejecting him. “I want you awake for it.”

“Dude I’mm…” Jon continues with the damn lip thing, even letting out a little sigh. “I’m wiiide awake.”

“Awake and aware, Jon,” Arin points out. “And not drunk off your ass.” He shifts a little so that they’re facing each other now, and oh yeah, Jon is completely out of it now this absolutely needs to stop. “You need to remember if it happens. And, y’know, consent to it properly.”

Jon pouts weakly, his eyes now trailing all over the place. “I’mmm to’lly fuckin’--”

“You’re really not,” Arin cuts in. “But I’ll tell you what. If you remember this tomorrow or next week or whatever time, you can bring it up again, and we can settle some, uh, not-bro stuff. Okay?”

“Sssmooch me firrst,” Jon says, the words barely audible as his eyes close. And Arin actually does. Just the tiniest peck, nothing to write home about. And certainly nothing to make a big deal of.

Jon is completely out now, and Arin dares to bring his hand into his hair to run his fingers through it. He smiles, face still blushing and heart still pounding despite everything that has been said and done. “We’ll settle this later,” he says in a hushed voice before pressing his lips against Jon’s forehead. “Dream of this, though, will you? I really want you to remember.”

Arin smiles and lets out a contented sigh. He’s going to have some explaining to do if Jon wakes up first. And there’s going to be a hell of a talk if Jon actually will remember, which is still highly unlikely. But still, he can always hope.


	2. Chapter 2

Jon remembers. He fucking remembers everything, even if it all happened just as he was about to pass out, which usually gets blocked. Upon realizing this, he remembers being slightly panicked. No wait, scratch that, a lot panicked. Especially since he had woken up fucking _nestled_ into Arin like that was some kind of thing to do. There had been a moment where he was super scared of something more having happened but he had written it off because Arin would never.

Still okay, the details of the morning after (Jon makes a mental note never to refer to it as such, because it _implies_ ) are unimportant. What _is_ important is that he somehow needs to find the guts to bring it up again. Arin is certainly making it his mission to not mention anything about anything, clearly leaving it up to Jon to decide what to do with it. What an asshole. Except no, not at all, because he knows how bad Jon is with confrontations and shit like that.

It’s been like a week now, and Jon still hasn’t found it in himself to say anything. He hasn’t even told Arin that he knows about what happened. And now it actually feels worse because it would come totally out of fucking nowhere and God it’s just- It’s difficult to say the very absolute least. Jon is super close to grabbing a drink again just to gather some guts, but thinks better of it in case it all happens again. But on the other hand, booze does tend to make him care less about the whole not-bro-love thing anyway so

Nono, not this time. This time it’s gonna be full-on personal and real talk and all that shit. If he can ever actually fucking find the right moment. How do you even start a conversation like that? ‘Hey remember the other day where I said I loved you and you were like yeah me too and we got all snuggly? Haha because I do and I’ve totally been ignoring it for the past week.’ Like what the fuck is Jon supposed to say?

Okay now he really regrets not bringing it up sooner.

“Dude, are you serious?” Arin suddenly says as Jon dies again on that same boss before he can do anything about it. Shit he had been so immersed in his own little struggle that he forgot to focus on the damn game.

“Whatever, the game’s hard!” Jon exclaims to cover up. “One more fucking time.”

“No, okay, you’re just wasting our lives, give that to me,” Arin says, and snatches the controller out of Jon’s hand. “I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Jon scoffs. “Yeah, like you actually know any better,” he says, sinking back on the couch and folding his arms across his chest.

“I know better than to die after like fifty tries on the same boss,” Arin replies all too proudly, and Jon elbows him in the side.

Thank fuck they’re not actually recording now, or they would have to restart or never publish. Their banter is way too forced and weird. Jon wonders if Arin is aware of it too. He must be.

For a moment, it’s quiet, way more than usual, as Arin focuses on the game. It gives Jon some more time to recollect his thoughts. Because seriously, he has got to fucking work his way up to it somehow. But what can he do? What can he say that won’t be totally fucking weird? What’s a good segue that can be played off as a joke if Arin doesn’t actually want to talk about it?

“Dude, do you remember Chulip?” Jon asks even before he can decide where he can go with that.

Arin grimaces in surprise. “What? What are you- Ooh, wait, the one where we named the love-interest RL Stine?”

Jon laughs, snapping his fingers at Arin’s quick catch. “That’s the one. ‘Cause like, I was thinking, d’you think that title is supposed to be a pun on something?”

“Like what?” Arin asks, sounding almost disinterested. Okay maybe this wasn’t the best way to start it.

“Like I dunno, is it supposed to sound like ‘Tulip’ ‘cause of all the flowery-tinted stuff?” Jon continues with a shrug. 

“Uh, maybe,” Arin replies, his eyes still on the screen. “I’m thinking it’s more to do with the ‘chu’, though. ‘Cause it’s a kissy game.”

Yes, there it is. “So what, a direct non-translation?” Jon jokes, sitting back up on the couch to try and look at Arin. Nothing seems to have changed in his facial expression, which is a fucking shame because Jon was expecting a little bit of a reaction. Or at least that he was catching the hint already. “Was it called ‘Chu-Rippuu’ in Japanese or something?”

Arin lets out a loud laugh, and Jon grins. Okay, good, finally some change. “Ah yes uh herro,” he says in his most horrible, stereotypical Asian voice, “I wud, ah, raiku, tu _rip_ your chuu!”

At that, Jon laughs loudly as well. “Dude, you made it fucking worse!” he yells, elbowing Arin’s side again. “Glad we’re not recording or people would be piiissed.”

“Not like we’re in the clear right now anyway,” Arin jokes, giving Jon a small side-glance.

“No but like, what else could it be?” Jon continues, feeling like he could be onto something here. “Like a combination of both languages? ‘Cause like, they had that heart in the middle, right? So one part could be Japanese and the other English.”

“What like, ‘Kiss-Lip’?” Arin asks, and Jon actually notices how the character he’s controlling loses balance a bit as he talks. Is he finally getting through?

“Well I mean, if you wanna keep a G rating, then sure,” Jon mumbles playfully as if there was an actual invitation for it.

And Arin dies.

Just like that, the character takes a fucking sword to the face and fucking dies. On a mook. Jon gasps, and excitedly points to the screen. “See? I fucking told you it was hard!”

“It’s not hard, I just--” Arin begins, and then huffs a bit as if he’s getting pissed off. Fuck. That’s not what Jon wanted. And oh God he’s pausing the game after respawning. Jon is just about to ask what he’s doing when Arin turns to him with a curious frown. Oh God, that fucking look is enough to set Jon’s nerves into hyperdrive. “Where are you even going with this? Like, where did that come from?”

“I dunno, it’s just talk,” Jon replies, deciding to ignore the soul-searching look in Arin’s eyes. That’s what he’s doing now, right? “Been wondering about it for a while.”

“Jon.”

Shit.

“Look, I dunno, it’s just- Like, I’m…” Jon falters, and purses his lips, now completely avoiding Arin’s gaze because God fucking dammit his heart is starting to pound infinitely faster than it should be. Good thing his cheeks are already sort of rosy by nature or Arin would really see what’s happening. Which would arguably be a bit better because then Arin would be able to fucking tell. “I’m just saying.”

“Just saying,” Arin echoes pointedly, clearly expecting an elaboration.

Fuck. The ball is in Jon’s court but he just- can’t say it. Not without it being weird. And it’s gonna be so weird, fuck, this is where it ends. It’s a good thing he still has JonTron because there’s a good chance this might fail and Game Grumps will end.

“I’m trying to work- To like, get to the point of- Like, okay,” Jon stammers, and then closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. Now or never, he supposes. “I remember. The thing, from- from the other night.” No response. Shit. Jon can’t bear to open his eyes again just yet. “The whole, y’know, cuddle session or whatever. And like, what I said. I, uh… remember it.”

Still nothing. Why isn’t Arin saying anything? Fuck, now Jon’s palms are actually sweating, and that’s usually what Arin does! He slowly opens his eyes again and turns to Arin, and actually almost gasps.

Arin is just kind of staring at him like he doesn’t believe what he just heard. His mouth is open in what could either be shock or a start of a sentence that never happened. At this very moment Jon decides that a rejection would have been considerably easier to deal with. “Uh, Arin?” he eventually decides to say. “I know we’re not recording, but could you, uh, maybe hurry up with a response here?”

“Sorry, yeah, I’m--” Arin shakes his head and blinks a few times, and is that blush Jon is seeing? “What?”

“Don’t make me say it agaaaiin,” Jon whines, sinking back on the couch again, this time covering his face in embarrassment. “I just- I fucking remember everything, okay? And I couldn’t tell you right away because it freaked me out that it happened and…” He groans pathetically, wishing that the couch would just fucking eat him already.

Arin is quiet for a few seconds again, and it’s fucking agonizing. “I don’t know what to say,” he then finally replies, and Jon feels the couch dip a little, so Arin must have sat back too. “I mean, I do, but it’s weird now.”

“I know, that’s the thing!” Jon exclaims. “Why else d’you think I’ve been putting it off?”

More torturous goddamn pauses. Then Jon feels a soft touch on one of his hands, and it’s being pried from his face and whoa okay Arin has definitely never looked at him like _that_. Jon can only stare, feeling his throat go dry in milliseconds. He removes his other hand from his face as Arin places the one he’s holding on the couch. And he better not let go yet, because it’s doing a hell of a good job of grounding Jon so he doesn’t lose it immediately.

“Look, man,” Arin says, and holy shit even his voice is different. Not strictly deeper, but there’s some sort of huskiness to it that’s new and sounds so sincere and if Jon is trembling because of it Arin is thankfully ignoring it. “If a drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts, like you said, then… I’m assuming because you remember, you don’t regret what you said?”

Jon swallows hard, and moves his hand so it can properly hold Arin’s (oh God oh _God_ ). “No. I mean, not really, like…” He licks his lips. “Like I’m glad it’s out there and all, but I kinda pictured it happening different.”

Arin grins, but it’s not his shit-eating, teasing one. Thank God. “Different how?”

“Well, with me not drunk off my ass, for one,” Jon replies. “And maybe, like, I dunno, not just saying stuff and then falling asleep on top of you.”

“Yeah that was a pretty stupid decision on your part,” Arin says with a small chuckle and oh God is he moving closer on the couch fuck fuck fuck. He then looks down on their hands for a second, and smiles. “I meant what I said, you know. About the not-bro-love thing.”

At that, Jon covers his face again with his free hand, trying to hide the ever deepening blush that’s still on his face. “God, that’s such a fucking stupid way of saying it.”

“Yeah well, we say the actual words practically on a daily basis anyway so that one had a bit of a deeper meaning,” Arin says, and Jon just has to look at him again because holy shit he’s never looked this shy and shit ever and oh God he actually is moving closer holy shit holy shit. “Glad it’s all out, then.”

“I could, uh, maybe say it again in, y’know, a deeper context or whatever,” Jon offers, ever so slightly leaning closer to Arin too (oh GOD).

“Save it,” Arin tells him, and oh fuck now his voice is really deep and almost sultry and Jon’s heart is going to burst out if he keeps that shit up. Can Arin even hear it now? Fuck, it’s so loud.

“For what?” Jon asks quietly, his own voice almost a whisper now as he actually dares to slowly, slowly lean in (that’s what Arin is going for, right? Please let it be that).

“I dunno,” Arin breathes (oh God) and actually fucking closes his eyes and holy shit oh God fuck. “Maybe after some not-bro stuff.”

“Don’t- talk about it like that,” Jon practically sighs in response, and oh God they’re so fucking close now Jon can actually fucking feel Arin’s breath on his skin which he would usually complain about because it fucking stinks sometimes but he couldn’t care less now because it’s so close they’re so close and Jon’s pretty sure his heart is about to fucking blow a fuse holy fucking shit Arin’s lips are actually starting to brush against his own and—

_CLINK-CLANG!_

They both fall back with a gasp as Jon’s text alert practically reverberates through the room. Arin’s eyes shoot open and he awkwardly clears his throat, his entire face beet red. Meanwhile Jon, whose brain is still swimming and making the room spin, reaches into his pocket for his phone, his hand shaking slightly.

“’Ss Barry,” he mutters awkwardly, instantly deciding that he needs to cut Barry a new one once he gets back to their apartment. “Wants to know if--”

“Yeah, no prob,” Arin replies quickly, maybe too quickly, and clears his throat again, turning back to the game.

Jon bites his lip, his breathing finally calming down after all that. He sheepishly scoots a bit closer again, and leans slightly into Arin’s frame. “Can you like… put that on hold?”

Arin takes in a sharp breath which Jon desperately hopes is a good thing. “Put- what?”

“The, uh… not-bro stuff that was like, just about to happen,” Jon elaborates. “’Cause like, I meant what I said too. I wanna do, y’know, that kinda stuff. Of the not-bro variant.” God, is this stuff really coming out of his mouth? Fuck.

“Y- yeah,” Arin replies without much else and then shakes his head. “I mean, uh, yeah, me too. Just… Yeah, better timing or whatever.”

At that, Jon grins, and lays his head down on Arin’s shoulder just out of instinct. “We suck at timing this shit.”

Arin chuckles. “I mean, that alone took us a week. And we still didn’t.”

“I’m gonna kick Barry’s ass so hard when I get home.”

“Please do,” Arin says and wow he’s actually laying his head on top of Jon’s this is fucking fantastic holy shit. And was- Oh God was that a little peck Jon just felt?

“You just kissed my head,” he actually comments.

“Yeah, but not the right one,” Arin replies simply, and Jon pinches him in the side for it. “What? It’s me putting the other thing on hold.”

“You suck.”

“Love you too.”

And Jon actually smiles, wider than he probably should, and decides to embrace the little flutters that decide to bloom in his stomach when he hears that. He nuzzles his cheek against Arin’s shoulder, feeling a bit more complete now. It’s finally out. All that’s left is to get over this damn fluttery stage and actually finish what they started.

He decides then and there to keep his phone on silent mode next time he comes over.


	3. Chapter 3

They haven’t actually talked about it much yet. Not that that’s too big of a deal, because they both know it’s there. These past few days have been filled with little off-camera glances that definitely haven’t had this amount of warmth in them before; not to mention the touching. Hoo boy there is a lot more of that going on now. It makes Arin feel a bit relieved that Game Grumps is an audio-only show, because then they don’t have to explain the sudden spike in all the God damn touching. It is seriously all over the place, and Jon is surprisingly big on initiating it. Whenever Arin has the controller, or is otherwise occupied with something, Jon will absolutely use that opportunity to lean onto him, bring an arm around him, or even sprawl his legs over Arin’s thighs. There was even one time where Jon actually lay down on Arin’s lap and looked up at him, and they had to start the episode over because Arin became so flustered by it.

So yes, there are some changes even though they haven’t been discussing it too much, even off-camera. But in spite of that, Arin still has a bit of a gnawing feeling in his stomach, like something is missing. Kind of a closure, but like the opposite. The first confession snuggles can’t really be considered a start, but at the same time that’s when it all began spiraling. The second time was probably closer, but Barry’s fucking text interrupted everything, and they haven’t done anything like that since. Which is a shame because Arin is so thirsty for it it’s driving him nuts.

How can they be this close, this touchy, this obviously loving, and they haven’t even properly kissed yet? And how in the holy hell is Arin supposed to bring it up without sounding needy?

“Fuck this shit! Next time on Game Grumps!” Jon yells, looking like he’s about to throw the controller on the floor. “No actual damage is gonna happen because this is probably a valuable artifact and was expensive to somebody,” he finishes and then slumps back on the couch with a laugh. “Or just cut that whole thing, whatever.”

Arin smiles, and writes down the time before stopping the recording. He sits back as well, one arm spread over the back of the couch, almost wrapping it around Jon’s shoulders but not quite. “You sure you’re the Not-So-Grump, dude? ‘Cause you just got piiissed at this,” he says, nodding to the game.

“Hey, if some of your rage quits weren’t already legendary we’d probably be competing for the Grump title,” Jon points out, scooting a bit closer and putting one hand on Arin’s thigh. He then sighs and lets out a little whine. “Ugh, I don’t wanna go home yeeet. Can’t we do like a one-off or whatever?”

“Aw, look at you making up excuses so you can stay over longer,” Arin says, and actually does put his arm around Jon’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“I- Shut up,” Jon says with a laugh. “I’ll have you know that I just very much enjoy your company and you have nice house and is it really such a crime to want some more of this?” he adds, patting Arin’s thigh.

“Guess not,” Arin replies, and shrugs. Oh he can totally do this now. He just has to make sure that Jon wants it as much as he does. “Even if it is pretty basic.” Ooh yes, that should catch his attention.

“Basic? This?” Jon questions, gesturing to how they’re half-wrapped around one another. “Dude this is not what I call basic, this is like, some next level shit.”

Bingo. Arin grins. “Oh really? And what’s the level after this?”

There’s a beat, and Arin revels in how obvious it is that Jon is blushing a little. “The, y’know, like, fuckin’…” he falters, and clears his throat. “Look, you’re not gonna make me get fucking embarrassed by talking about it.”

“About what, Jon? What are you trying to say?” Arin continues to tease, kind of wishing he had done this sooner because this is too much fun.

“Arin, I swear to God…”

“You’re really cute when you’re all nervous like that,” Arin comments, chuckling a bit when he notices Jon grumble something into his chest.

Then, before he knows it, and even before he can register it happening, Jon has craned his neck over to plant a little smooch on his cheek. He then huffs and folds his arms. “That. Now shut up before I change my mind about not wanting to go home.”

Now it’s Arin’s turn to be blushing, and his grin widens. So far he has been the only one to do any little kissy stuff (aside from drunk Jon’s neck nibbles, but he’s not counting those), and so to have Jon actually kiss his cheek like that, simple as it is, gets him all kinds of worked up. “Hey,” he says, prompting Jon to look over at him. He points at his mouth. “You missed.”

Jon cocks an eyebrow at him, and then his eyes widen in realization. “You asshole, you planned that!” he exclaims, lightly pushing Arin away as they both share a laugh on opposite sides of the couch. “Oh my God and I fucking fell for it.”

“You sure did,” Arin says between giggles, and then chews on his lip. “And are you gonna deliver or what?”

At that, Jon looks up and smirks at him, and they both sit back up to face each other. “You know, if you weren’t such a fucking charmer I’d be denying you even more now,” he says, and wow his still reddening face is really betraying this cool act he’s pulling. Arin loves it. “Too fucking bad for me for wanting it too, I guess.”

“Damn right, I’m a charmer,” Arin says proudly, now leaning a bit closer. “Won you over, didn’t I?”

“Fuck you,” Jon replies, but there’s absolutely no bite to it. At this point, they’re kind of back in the position they were in that night, and Arin notices Jon swallow nervously. “This is stupid. Why is such a simple thing so hard to do?”

“Maybe because we’ve been taught it’s supposed to have a massive build-up and have all this romance shit involved,” Arin replies, covering Jon’s hand with his own, and putting the other on Jon’s leg. “Or something, I dunno. I mean, if that’s what you wanted then you kinda fucked it up before by getting way too drunk to do it. It’s supposed to follow confessions.”

Jon laughs, but it’s a softer laugh, so Arin knows that he hasn’t overstepped anything. This is happening. And they’re just talking about how simple and stupid it is, but his heart is still fucking hammering in his chest what the fuck is that all about. “You’re just too much of a gentleman not to take advantage of me,” Jon says, and his voice has gotten a bit quieter. Arin shivers a little at the sound of it.

“You know I’d never,” Arin tells him and Jesus can they just get it over with already he’s fucking exploding here. “But now we’re both sober, both phones are on silent, and the Grump session is over. So would you please just get the fuck over here and kiss me already?”

There’s a hint of a beat, and Arin is just about to complain when he notices that Jon is just shaking his head in – he thinks – disbelief. He then starts ever so slowly leaning in, and oh God, Arin knows he was asking for this, because he wants this, he really does, but now that it’s actually happening he’s not sure what to do. He clasps Jon’s hand tightly, closes his eyes, and leans in a little closer just as Jon does and holy shit is it obvious how hard his heart is pounding because he can hear nothing else right now oh God he can’t be breathing this rapidly now fuck—

He inhales sharply through his nose when they finally (fucking _finally_!) connect, not out of shock exactly, but relief. He thinks Jon has done the same, he’s not sure, but either way this is fucking happening and he can barely contain himself. He can hear nothing but his own heartbeat roaring in his ears as his entire blood supply seems to have gone to his face. His hands even tremble a bit, but as soon as he feels Jon’s grip tighten a little, he’s able to bear with it.

Eventually they both relax more into the kiss, and Arin even lets out a little sigh. God, it’s so nice. It’s just so fucking nice to finally being able to do this. Arin moves his hand from Jon’s leg up to his face, cupping it gently. That’s all it is at the moment: gentle. And that’s fine, that’s totally fine. Arin loves it. Just some simple lip brushing, no big.

Arin feels a little shift on the couch, and it’s not until he feels Jon’s other hand on his waist that he realizes what’s happening. He takes in another sharp breath, and this time was evidently not expected, because Jon slowly draws back a bit and fuck don’t do that get back this was going somewhere.

“You alright?” Jon asks quietly, pressing their foreheads together (holy shit, oh God).

“Y- yeah,” Arin replies, surprising himself by how breathless he sounds. “Just- this isn’t, y’know, either of our first kisses ever. We can, like, do more.” Oh God, did he really say it like that, Jesus Christ.

“Man, you’re not leaving this room until first base is properly finished, are you?” Jon says with a smug little grin and God Arin hates him so much right now.

“I’m not a teenager, Jonathan, I can handle a proper makeout without jizzing in my pants,” Arin responds, now lifting his other hand so that he can hold Jon’s head steady. “And don’t you dare tell me you don’t want that as much as I do.”

“Never said I didn’t,” Jon says and holy shit Arin did not know his voice was capable of that level of huskiness wow. Jon closes the distance again, and it actually comes as a surprise to Arin so he lets out a little sound again.

And oh.

Oh yes, this is more like it. Jon is opening his mouth properly now, and Arin responds accordingly, now wrapping his arms around Jon’s neck and holy shit his stomach is doing fucking backflips fuck fuck. And oh God is Jon moving forward now oh fuck Arin has to lean back a little but doesn’t want to because then he’ll lose contact and it’s so nice and just messy enough to be funny in hindsight yup there’s the teeth clatter but they both ignore it in favor of keeping a steady rhythm going. Can kissing have rhythm? Whatever, this one has rhythm anyway, and Arin is fully prepared to play as long as he can.

Jon’s hand is still on his waist, and now his other one is reaching to the back of Arin’s head and oh God he’s fucking guiding him down Arin is fucking losing it it’s so nice it’s so fucking nice. He’s now on his back and practically pulling Jon down to deepen the kiss even more and oh shit there’s a tongue in his mouth now yup yup that’s a thing now and Arin shivers again at the contact and oh God what was that sound. What the flying absolute fuck was that sound Jon just made holy shit Arin desperately needs to hear it again.

He grabs the back of Jon’s shirt to try and see what it will do and oh fuck Jon actually makes a little humming sound in agreement but what is he agreeing to oh God does he mean it’s okay to pull it off oh _God_. Arin carefully does just that, and is greeted by a Goddamn t-shirt underneath fucking fuck but at least he can now run his hands down Jon’s arms and wow when did they become so fucking firm.

Apparently Arin did something nice by doing that, because he manages to elicit the delightful sound again, to which he responds with his own. God this is far beyond what he expected when he started this whole fuckery but he is far from disappointed. They continue on like this for a while, and Arin actually dares to bring his hands to Jon’s hair to run his fingers through it, and to pull him closer so deepen the kiss even more, if that’s even possible at this point.

And then suddenly there’s no lips on his own anymore and Arin frowns at the loss, prepared to glare the hell out of Jon for daring to stop but oh once he opens his eyes and sees the way Jon looks at him it’s like any shred of dignity he has just straight up fucking dies. Jon grins down at him mischievously (fuck) and then Arin is swiftly being pulled up from the couch, and Jon is now sitting down on it himself, looking at Arin expectantly and holy shit Arin knows exactly what he wants and he would be damned if he didn’t want it too. He is quick to oblige, straddling Jon expertly before grabbing onto his head again and continuing where they left off.

More of those sounds (Arin can’t fucking get enough of them) and those unexpectedly strong hands are back on his waist and now being run up his back and oh God Arin can’t help the stupid moan that comes out of him when he feels it. Jon giggles at it, and Arin lightly pulls on his hair to punish him. Then the hands move back down again and whoa whoooaaa okay they’re under Arin’s shirt now, there is actual skin-on-skin touching going on holy shit Arin is actually getting fucking goosebumps fuck he needs to let go to catch his breath it’s too much. As soon as he does, he is being pulled forward and FUCK Jon is doing the neck nibble thing again, only this time totally doing it properly and there is sucking and licking going on and Arin’s shirt is being lifted and why the fuck didn’t they do this sooner Jon is so good fuck.

At just the right moment, Jon backs away just for a second to remove Arin’s shirt and fuck fuck fuck as soon as it’s off Arin has to grab tightly onto Jon’s (still fucking clothed) shoulders to keep himself levelled because holy shit the neck thing is driving him wild and it’s being combined with some more back touching and just

“Jon…” he breathes, half-moans, before he can stop it, and then lets out a surprised gasp when he feels teeth being grazed against his skin oh fuck oh fuck he’s going to get actually fucking properly hard from this soon and he’s not sure if he wants that to happen. “Jon, fuck…”

He lightly pulls on Jon’s tee to let him know what he wants and is surprised to feel that Jon lifts his arms almost immediately to allow him to remove it and oh fuck when it’s only halfway off Arin is panicking slightly because this is going to be some proper chest-on-chest touching and that is completely new territory. But he doesn’t have nearly enough time to reflect on that any further because Jon is pulling him closer again and their mouths crash together just as their chests touch and fuck fuck fuck everything Arin can accept a fucking boner now this is fanfuckingtastic he never wants to stop.

Sort of distantly he remembers Jon mentioning forever ago that he’s self-conscious about all of this, and so Arin breaks the kiss again to be the one to do the neck thing, desperate to repay it. They are both walking out of this room with Goddamn hickeys if it’s the last thing he does. Jon instantly leans his head back to give Arin room to do it, and Arin fully embraces it, sucking hard at any spot he can get and fuck, Jon is clawing lightly at his back oh God oh _God_.

“Jesus, Arin…” Jon groans and Arin shivers yet again, starting to wonder if that’s all he can fucking do now. And oh holy shit holy shiiit was that a hip buck holy shit Arin can’t handle that if that’s what’s happening now. One of Jon’s hands is now in Arin’s hair and he takes a fistful of it and gently pulls and fuck Arin can’t help the moan that escapes him this time either and fuck if they’re going to start grinding on each other now he’s starting to not feel all that opposed to it whoa okay no especially not now that he can feel Jon’s thumbs tugging at the waistband of his pants holy shit holy shit—

A knock on the door. They both slow their movements and pull back from one another, looking at each other questioningly. They locked it, there’s no way they’re going to have anyone barge in on them. So whatever, they continue.

Another fucking knock. This time, Arin huffs angrily and pushes himself up. “What?” he exclaims, far too into the makeout to even remotely care if he sounds riled up or rude.

“Sorry, it’s just- There’s some mail stuff that needs your signature, Arin,” a quiet voice says from behind the door, and okay, Arin can’t be rude to Suzy, definitely not.

“Can’t it wait? Or can’t you sign it?” Arin asks, lightly gasping when Jon uses the opportunity to kiss his neck again. “We’re- Grumping.”

“They need yours specifically,” Suzy replies. “Formalities or some shit like that. Can’t you pause it?”

Arin grumbles, and then lightly cups Jon’s jaw to move him away. “Hold on…” he says, brushing over his hair a little to make himself more presentable as he slowly, reluctantly stands up from Jon’s lap. He curses under his breath as he tries to figure out where Jon may have thrown his shirt, but decides against looking for it when he sees Jon’s flannel shirt on the couch, and just grabs that. Jon snorts as he puts it on, and Arin flips him off. He then takes some admittedly awkward steps to the door (the boner is definitely not favorable now) and then unlocks it, meeting a smiling but confused looking Suzy.

“Uh, yeah, just by the front door,” she says, gesturing towards it.

“Right,” Arin says, and quickly walks over to where the mail delivery person is still standing with a damn clipboard, waiting for him to sign. He tries to smile at them as a greeting, fully aware of how flushed his face is and how rosy his lips are. He quickly scribbles something akin to a signature, receives the package, and then slams the door shut with an annoyed huff. Waste of fucking time.

His angry thoughts are interrupted when he hears both Suzy and Jon laugh loudly from the Grump room. What the hell can those two be laughing about? Curiously, he walks back, only to find Suzy backed against a wall to support herself up as she laughs, and Jon… Well.

Jon is wearing his shirt, and it looks fucking ridiculous on him. It’s loose around the shoulders and tight around the middle, and the short sleeves look super weird on his arms. Not to mention that the thing is fucking pink, and it is so not Jon’s color. The longer Arin stares, the less angry he feels, and soon he has joined the other two in laughing his ass off.

“Dude, fuckin’- Complete the look!” Jon says in between his chuckles, handing Arin his t-shirt. Arin dutifully removes the flannel to put it on, and then the flannel goes back on for a final touch. Suzy absolutely loses it, and Jon’s wheeze gets even louder, and Arin can totally see why. This is just not the look for him, and it’s fucking hilarious to see. The two point at each other before Arin walks up to Jon and stands at his side for comparison.

“This is the stupidest fucking thing ever,” he says, shaking his head. Suzy has even brought out her phone for a picture, for which they pose.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your little ‘session’ but holy shit it was so worth it to see this,” Suzy says before falling into another fit of giggles.

Arin grins and grabs her arm to tug her over, planting a small kiss on her cheek. “Yeah well don’t do it again. Next time it won’t be so easy to stop.” Jon guffaws, and Arin can’t help but peck his cheek as well. “And you, chill the fuck out with the removing of the clothes, will you?”

“I’d say I was sorry, but I’m so fucking not,” Jon says cheekily, and Arin silences him with a kiss on the lips.

Okay so. If this is what it means to be all out relationship-wise, then Arin is all for it. Maybe even especially if he gets to wear Jon’s flannels more often. It doesn’t fit him in the slightest, but it’s nice. Snuggly, even.

They spend the rest of the evening in each other’s clothes, much to Suzy’s amusement. Jon even almost forgets to change once he eventually leaves. It’s adorable. Arin loves everything about this. Literally all of it.

They do need to finish that grinding thing, though.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time they’re about a month into this whole business, the sweetness is starting to slip into the show. A lot, actually. At first they were able to play it off as they usually did (ah the perks of having made gay jokes for a solid year beforehand), but apparently it had become a bit too frequent for the viewers to ignore it. The subreddit is suddenly full of threads about how it’s becoming difficult to watch the show because of how ‘blatantly gay’ it is, or how it makes them uncomfortable or some weird shit like that. Some users are even expressing worries about how this is all living proof that Arin is cheating on Suzy and that Jon is a homewrecker. Even though the reality could not be further from that.

Since the viewers are apparently obsessed with reading too much into it, and since both Jon and Arin suck at actually remembering to talk about it on the show itself, they decide to invite Suzy in for a one-off to both settle the viewers’ nerves and just to make things clear as crystal.

“What’s this? The goose speaks!” Arin jokes at the beginning just before Suzy introduces herself, and it’s all pretty basic from there. The three of them are basically goofing around the entire time, making it incredibly difficult for anyone to read any bad behind-the-scenes stuff from it. And once the whole Jon and Arin thing is brought up, Suzy is the one to explain it most properly.

“Look guys, I dunno what the problem is,” she says simply, which makes Arin snort out a laugh for some reason. “I’ve known about Arin’s huge gay crush on Jon since forever ago, and I really don’t see why he doesn’t deserve some more love in his life. Like, do any of you actually think this show was still going if I wasn’t cool with it all?”

“Well now you’re just making me sound super greedy,” Arin points out, and Jon can’t help but grin widely at that.

Suzy laughs. “Well yeah, I mean I can’t say I’m not a little bit jealous, because now you have double the love,” she says with a giggle. “That, and Jon’s got a lot more to him than me, so there’s more _to_ love.”

“Heeey, I can’t help it if all this extra goodness makes me irresistible,” Jon jokes, and the three of them share a laugh.

“No but seriously, guys, it’s all totally cool with all of us, so no more cheater threads on Reddit, okay?” Suzy says in a playfully scolding tone. “Unless you find out there’s a fourth person that neither Jon nor I know about, ‘cause that’s when we’ll get super salty with Ego over here.”

“Okay, that’s pushing it,” Arin says, placing his arms around Suzy and Jon’s shoulders. “I have the best of both worlds. I have my best friend who I love very much and occasionally happen to make out with and touch in inappropriate places, and then I have you, Jon.” The three of them laugh some more, and Arin is rewarded with a pinch on the cheek from Suzy and an elbow to the side from Jon. He grunts in mock pain to make it obvious on audio. “Ooh, see? Livin’ the dreeeaaam,” he wheezes.

Just then, Suzy finishes a level, and the scoreboard flashes on screen. “Alright well, next time on Game Grumps, maybe we’ll find some other dirt on the two of you than being cheaters and homewreckers,” she jokes. “And hopefully you won’t need me to be here like a fucking mom settling some kids arguing.”

“Okay then, back into your cage, goose,” Jon says, and the raspy quack noise Suzy lets out in response causes both him and Arin to completely lose it. “Fucking keep that in, Barry!”

Arin writes down the end of the episode and turns off the capture. He then leans back onto the couch, and Jon joins him in just leisurely sitting around for a moment. He then snakes his hand into Arin’s and is greeted with a gentle squeeze. Jon smiles. “Think that’ll actually shut some of them up?” he asks curiously, ignoring the slight warmth in his cheeks.

“Probably not, but maybe some people will actually take it at face value and be like ‘yeah okay’,” Arin replies with a small shrug. “I’m just not super into the cheater rumors, y’know? ‘Cause that’s so not what it is.”

“Dude, we fucking know,” Jon points out, sneaking a glance at Suzy, who grins back all-knowingly. “Episode’s done, man. There’s nobody left in this room that doesn’t know what this shit’s about.”

“I know, I know, just… I wanna always make sure it’s all super smooth,” Arin continues, and for a brief moment, Jon wonders if he’s trying to work up to something else. Something to discuss off-capture. “Wouldn’t want either of you to think I’m picking favorites or anything.”

“Babe, relax,” Suzy says and pats Arin’s leg before standing up to stretch. “As long as you actually talk about the stuff you do with us, it’s all cool. ‘Cause once you start doing things in secret, that’s when it’s seriously going down.”

Arin momentarily tenses a little, and looks as if he’s about to respond, but Jon cuts him off. “And yes, we knooow ‘that’s not what it is’ or whatever,” he says, placing a finger against Arin’s lips. He then stands up as well, fishing his phone out of his pocket. “Anyway, I’m gonna go get some water or something. You guys want anything?” The other two both shake their heads, so he shrugs. “Alright, suit yourselves.”

Jon exits the Grump room and heads for the kitchen, knowing that he’s free to roam around the house as he pleases. Which is so weird because just over a year ago this place was so foreign to him and he was practically afraid of moving around without proper permission. Once he’s in the kitchen and finds a bottle of water, he decides to text Barry to warn him about today’s episode and how long it is. And how not to worry about censoring anything major. Jon then leans against the counter as he drinks, still feeling a bit fluttery after that last episode.

It’s not like it was ever a secret between the three of them in the first place, since Arin was quick to babble on about how things were going after their first almost-kiss that one time. Jon can’t help the cheesy smile that creeps up his face as he remembers that night, and shakes his head at how stupid that whole thing is in hindsight. Still, it had all worked out eventually. But Goddamn if this hasn’t been the stupidest start of a relationship ever.

He then slowly, quietly even, makes his way back down the corridor towards the Grump room. He’s about to barge in with his usual pomp, but stops when he hears that there is some discussion going on inside. And not like the usual jokey-joke discussions or regular life stuff, but more along the lines of seriousness. Jon frowns, and decides to lean against the opening to listen in, wondering what could be so damn serious, and if he should even go into the room now since this discussion is going on.

 “Wait wait, so you want to, but you’re not sure how to… What?” Suzy says, sounding incredibly confused. A very unwelcome spike of worry strikes Jon as to what she is referring to. Arin wants to what? And not sure of what? Is it a bad thing?

“I mean, it’s just- never really struck me before, how, y’know, like, serious it could get,” Arin stammers in response, and there is something about his tone that makes Jon feel a bit uneasy. “Now I’m like, conflicted.”

“But you want to?” Suzy asks, and okay now Jon really needs to know what the fuck they’re talking about.

There’s a brief pause, and then Jon hears a sigh. “Yes. But I have no fucking idea how to tell him. Or how it’s even supposed to work,” Arin says, and Jon has to be extra careful not to squeeze the water bottle in anticipation so they won’t know he’s listening in. What the actual shit is going on and why is this a conversation that needs to happen without him around? Didn’t they literally fucking just establish that everything was fine?

“What, are you worried that he doesn’t want to too?” Suzy asks, and there is another pause, which Jon assumes is because Arin is nodding. “Oh, babe, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. I’m sure if you just actually talked to him about it, it’d all be fine. I mean, I appreciate you coming to me for this first, but isn’t this something you should be talking about with him now?”

Seriously. What the hell is happening. Jon feels a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach, something he was sure he wouldn’t feel again in a long time. He presses his back against the nearest wall to hopefully ground himself a bit, and tries to keep calm. For his own sake and theirs.

“I know I should, but like, it’s weird,” Arin says, and okay. Okay, ‘weird’ is better than ‘bad’, or whatever else Jon was expecting. “’Cause like, it’s been this long, right? And if he was a girl it’d be the logical next step, right?”

Wait. Hold the fuck up.

“But like, I don’t wanna make all these assumptions or whatever and then have it turn out that he just wants what we already have. And is, like, super okay with just this. Which is cool, that’s totally cool, I can totally respect that. ‘Cause like, I’d be cool with it too. I just don’t know how the fuck to bring it up without being a total weirdo.”

Oh God is he actually—

“Arin, I think you’re thinking about this way too hard.”

“But it _is_ super hard! How the fuck am I supposed to do it, Suzy? Like, I love him, and I wanna try, ‘cause he’s been super awesome about it all so far, and just- treats me so fucking well and I just know he’d be great.”

Oh God, he is. He fucking is.

“But it’d be like super new to both of us and I literally have no fucking idea how to talk to him about it. Like ‘oh hey Jon by the way, we’ve been doing super awesome lately, d’you wanna fuck me yet’?”

Jon has to cover his mouth to hide the very, very audible wheeze that escapes him. Suddenly it feels like his face is on fire, and he is so surprised by what he has just heard that he’s pretty sure his vision is getting a bit clouded. The dread from before is replaced with a sudden spike of interest, and it feels like his stomach has jumped into his throat. Holy fucking hell. It isn’t until he actually hears it put into words that it even registers with him. Because of fucking course he has been thinking about it. He’s just so equally confused about the whole mechanics of it that he’s decided to ignore it for now. But fucking Arin is willing as hell, apparently. Which, admittedly, is pretty damn satisfying to think about. That Arin actually wants it – and this badly too.

He hears Suzy laugh, which snaps him out of his thoughts. “Maybe not that blunt, but yeah, that’s one way to go about it,” she says, her tone unchanged even with Arin’s slight outburst.

“We’re so fucking bad at this stuff,” Arin says, his voice muffled, so Jon can only assume he has covered his face. The thought makes him smile and chuckle quietly, because he can just picture it. Awkward Arin is the fucking cutest. “I just- wish there was an easier way to go about it.”

And at that, Jon can’t help but blow his cover. He grins wide and marches into the room, causing both Arin and Suzy to jerk their heads up in surprise. “Maybe the first step should be to talk to the dude you’re so blatantly talking about behind his back,” he says, reveling in how quickly Arin’s face turns crimson.

“How- how long’ve you--”

“Long enough to know you’ve got some serious hots for me, dude,” Jon teases, wiggling his eyebrows, and holy crap he loves the look on Arin’s face. It’s both horrified and intrigued at the same time and it’s fucking adorable. Jon then shakes his head, and sits back down on the couch next to Arin, gently cupping his face to make him face him. “Seriously, though, you don’t think I’ve been thinking about that stuff too?” Arin stares, as if he can’t believe what Jon is saying, and Jon leans in to peck his lips reassuringly. “I’m serious, dude.”

“But like- didn’t you, like, forever ago…” Arin begins, and then bites his lip.

Jon chuckles, knowing exactly what Arin is referring to. “Yes, _forever_ ago. Emphasis on how it’s been a while, and how this,” he gestures between the two of them, “wasn’t established back then. Dude, I’m just as fuckin’ curious as you are about it.”

“See? I told you,” Suzy says, and Jon notices her smiling sweetly his way.

“So yeah, good on you for talking about it with Suzy, but hey, maybe next time actually mention it to me too,” Jon continues, and then kisses Arin again.

Arin then takes Jon’s free hand, squeezing it tight as if for safety. He nods. “Okay. Okay, so- so that’s a thing, then,” he breathes out shakily and oh God Jon just wants to scoop him up and cuddle away all these worries he apparently has. “But like, if- when, it happens, like, how even- Like, what do we even…”

“I don’t fucking know, dude,” Jon admits despite his confident demeanor so far. “Go with the flow or whatever? I don’t know. But I do know one thing, though,” he adds, and tucks some of Arin’s hair behind his ear. “You are a thirsty, overthinking little dick who really needs to chill with how much you want me.”

At that, Arin lets out a laugh, and it’s not a nervous-sounding one, so Jon joins him. Arin then wraps his arms around Jon’s neck and holds him, a bit too tight at first as a bit of punishment. “You are such a fucking asshole, I hate you,” he says, but the affection shines through and Jon knows there’s no actual meaning behind the words.

The couch shifts, and Jon draws back just enough to see that Suzy has stood up and is grinning proudly down at them. “Alright, now that that’s been settled, why don’t I be the one to leave the room so this can be discussed further,” she says. “Y’know, without the added awkwardness of having a non-participant listening in.”

Jon laughs. “Be my guest, but don’t be too surprised if you get any juicy details later.”

“I’ll bring earplugs to that meeting,” Suzy jokes with her own giggle, and then blows Arin a kiss before leaving the room.

The room is quiet for a moment, and Jon turns a little so he can plant a small kiss on the side of Arin’s head, stroking his hair. “Hey,” he says, prompting Arin to draw back to look at him properly. Jon grins. “You alright?”

Arin nods slowly. “Yeah, just, uh… Thanks,” he said, awkwardly looking to the side.

“For what?”

“For- I dunno, being you?” Arin glances back at him, and there’s a sheepish, shy little smile on his face that absolutely melts Jon’s heart. “I seriously thought you were gonna freak out.”

“Well, I did a little bit,” Jon admits, “but that’s pretty normal, right? I mean it’s not like we’ve never been in that kind of situation before.”

“Just not with another dude.”

Jon laughs. “Yeah well, we’ll work around that, just like with everything else,” he says, cupping Arin’s jaw again and smiling at him. “Worst comes to worst, we’ll look up instructions.”

At that, Arin lets out a loud goofy laugh and presses his forehead against Jon’s. Jon can’t help but join in the laughing. “Would you be fucking serious about this for one second?” Arin manages between his giggles, and Jon lets out an additional wheeze.

“Whaaat? I’m totally serious,” he says, and kisses Arin’s nose. He then draws back to smile at Arin, who is still getting out some stray laughs. “Tell you what. Why don’t we make it extra serious?”

“Wha- How d’you mean?” Arin asks curiously.

Jon grins. “Let’s make it a night. Like, romance novel level of making a huge deal about it. A super fancy date or whatever, and then basically just see where that goes. If we end up back and still want the pants off, then…” He lets out a nervous chuckle, just now realizing what he’s even saying. “Then yeah. That’s how it’s gonna be.”

For a moment, Arin seems to consider this idea, and Jon can swear that he sees a slight sparkle in his eyes after a few seconds. “I think I’d like that. Actually, I’d, uh, really like that. I’d love it.”

“It’s a deal, then,” Jon says, leaning in to kiss Arin properly, breathing out a small sigh when he feels it returned. Neither of them is being particularly secretive about how nervous they both are about this whole idea, but they are both all for it. And at this moment, that’s really all that matters.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RATED M/EXPLICIT 
> 
> Heyo! Be warned! This chapter contains some frickle-frackle! WHOA!

It started out innocently enough. Just a little testing here and there, mostly when neither Suzy nor Jon were around. Because of course he has to make sure that he can actually do it. And it escalated pretty quickly, so much that Suzy was immediately able to tell the first time he had been able to bring himself to an orgasm with some helpful insertions.

So yes. He can totally do it. And has made it clear to Jon as well. That this is happening, and not just with frotting or BJs or whatever. Like, actual in-and-out action.

“Arin, you’re not a child, stop saying that!” Suzy laughs as she does up Arin’s hair for the date. “If you keep doing it, he’s gonna laugh too hard to do anything.”

Arin squirms a little. “I think he’ll laugh either way, so might as well get it out of the way before some love-makin’ happens, right?” he says, earning a little tug on his hair as he does. Suzy then pats his head and gestures for him to stand up so they can both have a good look at him in the mirror.

He’s not a fancy guy, and he knows that all too well. He will absolutely only wear pajama bottoms and t-shirts for anything if he can, jeans at the most. So to see himself suited up like this is really something to behold. The thing isn’t even that uncomfortable, even with his added muscle gain. Hell, it fits him just about perfectly. And with the addition of Suzy’s skills (he couldn’t really say no to ‘a little foundation to even his skin out’) he thinks he looks just about irresistible. Arin smirks at his reflection and clicks his tongue with a wink. “Let’s see him resist _this_ , huh?”

Suzy chuckles, presenting him with the final touch. “Alright then, you know how to tie a tie, right?”

“Suzy please,” Arin scoffs as he takes it from her. “Have a bit of faith in me, would you?” He wraps the tie around his neck, adjusting the lengths so they are a little lopsided, and then turns back to her, his cocky expression unchanged. “I have literally no idea how this works. Help?”

All this preparation stuff is doing a wonderful job of distracting Arin from how it will all end. Not that he doesn’t want that, or that he’s scared of it or anything. It’s just that he really fucking wants this to be as good for Jon as he can imagine it’s going to be for him. And it’s not like he has that good a frame of reference either, because he hasn’t been able to try it that way with Suzy yet. So if he takes his own little sessions out of the equation, it’s all entirely new. And it’s incredibly exciting and absolutely terrifying at the same time.

When Jon does actually show up, it’s like any worry Arin has diminishes completely the moment he sees him. Jon is just about as sharp as he is, just with a slightly baggier looking suit. And as soon as he sees Arin, his face practically lights up, and holy crap it’s adorable Arin needs that expression framed in his head forever.

“Just couldn’t ditch the pink, huh?” Jon playfully jabs, referring to Arin’s shirt.

“Hey, I can’t just leave my signature at home, come on,” Arin replies, rolling his eyes. “Besides, this way, we’re color coded so everybody with the mind of a hillbilly will know where I’m gonna end up later.”

Jon laughs, and Arin grins just as he’s being pulled in closer by the waist. They share a small kiss, and then Jon looks him up and down before meeting Arin’s gaze. He seriously looks star struck, and Arin can feel his heart adding an extra beat when he notices it. “You ready to get wooed, big shot?” Jon then asks, as if there is even any doubt.

“Implying that I haven’t already been,” Arin replies, and the two of them chuckle before saying their goodbyes to Suzy, who has so graciously offered not to be in the house when they return. She gives them both a supportive thumbs up and waves them off as they leave.

The whole point of the date is to get in a romance-y mood, and so they of course booked a table at one of those restaurants that make it their mission to dim their lights so much that it’s almost impossible not to get reminded of a bedroom. That, and goddamn candles on every damn table. And a reddish color scheme. Arin looks around for a moment, and once they are seated he can really take in the atmosphere, and just how the lighting is starting to affect him overall. He looks over to Jon, who looks deep in thought as he scans the menu, and Arin can’t help but let out a quiet sigh, smiling lovingly at him.

“Did you ask for this specifically?” he asks, and Jon looks up at him with a confused expression. “The mood lighting,” Arin explains, nodding upwards as a gesture. “And, y’know, coloring.”

It takes Jon a second to figure out what Arin is talking about, and then he grins. “You’d think, right?” he says, cocking one eyebrow at Arin. “But no. Seriously starting to regret not doing that now, though. Like, where’s the rose petals and wine?”

Arin laughs, and then playfully points at Jon’s face. “Dude, ixnay on the ineway, okay? We are doing this properly, and with you a hundred percent sober,” he warns Jon with a little grin.

“Boo, you’re no fun,” Jon replies, and sticks out his tongue. “Besides, what’s a fancy date without wine?”

“One where you don’t lose your liquor and can actually last.”

At that, they both laugh, maybe a bit too loudly given the setting (Arin can swear that he can see a few of the older people in the restaurant giving them a few judging side-glances). Everything feels so relaxed and natural, and even if Arin has the tiniest pinch of a worry about the end result, he’s starting to feel fluttery enough not to care about that right now. Especially not when the damn lighting in the place is making Jon look especially attractive. There’s just something about the way it frames his face, and makes his eyes shine, and wow Arin is totally mesmerized for a moment. He smiles, and then reaches across the table to shyly brush his fingers over Jon’s.

The touch makes Jon look at Arin again, and okay, okay _now_ Arin is completely entranced. Has Jon’s smile always been this radiant? And just- this incredibly charming? And wow Arin is actually blushing just from this, what the fuck. “What?” Jon eventually asks, lacing their fingers together and oh God it’s almost too much even if it’s so little how is such a tiny gesture making Arin’s heart take like three extra beats per second what the hell.

“Nothing, I just…” Arin begins, biting his lip because Jesus fuck. “You- You’re great. You’re wonderful.” He almost wants to kick himself for how cheesy that sounds but he means it too much to do anything about it.

Jon frowns, and pouts a little before the cutest grin manages to creep out as well (God Arin loves it when he does that). “ _You’re_ wonderful,” he playfully half-mutters, and now Arin kind of wishes the lighting was another color because he knows this is the part where Jon starts to blush but he can’t really see it now. Oh well.

Arin giggles, and leans forward on the table. “Nice of you to notice, dearest not-bro-love of mine,” he jokes, and gets flicked on the nose as a result.

“I swear to God, Arin, if you don’t stop saying it like that, I’m gonna up the bro level so it’s not lovey anymore,” Jon says, and at first Arin wonders if he actually means some of it. He must be making some kind of concerned face, because Jon quickly laughs and squeezes his hand reassuringly. “I’m kidding, dude, relax. But seriously, that needs to fucking die.”

“What? I think it’s cute. It’s how it all started,” Arin says, smiling wide at Jon. “You and your drunk little confessions.”

Jon laughs, and briefly covers his face. “I still can’t fucking believe _that’s_ what I said. Like, of all the possible things to say, fucking ‘not-bro-love’ is what I ended up with, like, what even.”

“Hey, it worked,” Arin says, looking down at their hands, and brushes Jon’s lightly with his thumb. “And probably helped that I was already in way too deep too.”

“Yeah, what’s that all about?” Jon replies, his tone teasing. “How come you didn’t make the first move if you were so gosh dang into me to begin with?”

“Because! You- You’ve always seemed like the kind of guy who would totally freak out about stuff like that. And like, I’d be fuckin’ damned if I was gonna drive you away with something as stupid as that,” Arin says, and is it just him or has the place gotten a little warmer?

“Aww, you’d be willing to torture yourself just to have me stick around,” Jon says in mock earnest. “That’d be the saddest, sweetest thing if I hadn’t been basically doing the same shit.”

Arin grins, feeling a little tingle in his stomach at the reminder that Jon of all people felt that way about him. “We suck at this.”

“So hard.”

Except not really. Or at least, not nearly as much as they joke about. Sure, they had a bit of a rocky start, and yes, being sort of celebrities lent itself to a few hiccups, but in the end, this is what they have to show for it. Even now, as their orders arrive and they basically enjoy them in silence, Arin doesn’t feel awkward at all, like he probably should. Though it does definitely help that even if they’re a bit quieter, it doesn’t stop them from playing some footsie under the table. And with every touch, Arin can feel himself grow warmer with the smug little grins Jon gives him.

Seriously, though, has Jon always been this handsome? Is it the lighting? Or is it maybe Arin’s mind making him extra sensitive to it all because of what’s going to happen? Maybe it’s a bit of everything. Their plates are cleared, and as soon as it happens, Arin finds himself completely trapped in Jon’s gaze. God. Like, Arin has always found Jon attractive, that’s been established by now, but- Not on this level. He squirms a bit, and for some reason Jon takes it as his cue to take his hand again, which only intensifies the feeling and God damn.

“You alright?” Jon asks, and then frowns. “You’re not getting food poisoning again, are you?”

“What? No!” Arin replies immediately, and maybe even a bit too loud. He clears his throat, ignoring the slight blush he feels in his cheeks. “No, no I’m fine. I just- Did you like, uh… Do something? To yourself? For tonight?” Wow, smooth.

Jon blinks for a moment, and then lets out a low chuckle. “What are you talking about?”

“I _mean_ \- Just, like--” Arin fumbles, and gestures to all of Jon. “Like, _you_. ‘Cause you look- super nice tonight. Nicer than usual. I mean, not that you don’t look nice all the time but…” Jesus Christ what is he even doing.

“Arin, calm down, jeez,” Jon says with a bright smile, now taking Arin’s hand in both of his and wow, okay wow, this is some next level of public intimacy holy shit. “To answer your question, not really. I mean I trimmed, I guess,” he adds, flashing his chin, “and I suited up, but that’s about it. Why? Where’d that even come from?”

At this point Arin can’t even really tell if his heart is beating so hard because he’s embarrassed, or because Jon is being super lovey. “Just- I dunno, seemed appropriate, or whatever. It’s probably this fucking lighting that’s fucking me up, I don’t fucking know.” Is it normal to act this stupid in front of someone you’ve been dating for a while? Did Arin do this with Suzy too? Oh God, he probably did.

“The lighting does help, I’ll give you that,” Jon says, momentarily looking up at the ceiling before his attention goes back to Arin. “And hey, for the record, you look super awesome tonight too. And don’t think I don’t see Suzy’s touch-up jobs on that face of yours, ‘cause I do.”

Arin’s eyes widen. “It’s- not bad, is it?” is his instinctive first question, even if he knows Suzy did an amazing job.

“No, you fucking idiot,” Jon says with a laugh, and okay, okay it’s a good laugh, not a making-fun-of-you laugh. “If anything it, uh, makes you even, y’know…” Oh God, is Jon going to start faltering now? Are they both going to be too embarrassed to go through with anything tonight? “Alright, you know what, Arin? I think you’re fucking gorgeous, and whatever Suzy’s done with your face and however this fucking lighting works is making it even more obvious right now.”

As he listens, Arin lets out a small, relieved breath, unable to hide the wide, goofy smile that spreads across his face. “Then maybe we should get out of this lighting to see if these old mugs still hold up,” he suggests, and oh shit he didn’t mean for it to sound like he was that desperate oh God.  

“I don’t doubt it for you,” Jon says, and wow, fuck, either he is being extra smooth tonight or Arin is just super weak to everything. “I mean, we can get out of here whenever. Just basically your call if you wanna keep it Hollywood style or whatever.”

For a moment, Arin considers this. Because on one hand, the plan was to purposely make as big a deal about it all as possible. So theoretically, they could just go out now and have a walk or something, just to draw it out. But on the other hand, he’s starting to think that the reason he’s being so flimsy tonight is because he’s getting incredibly anxious. And curious. And just Goddammit Jon should not be having this effect on him.

“I want- home,” Arin says, just barely managing to dodge the ‘you’ that he was about to say. “To go. There. Soon, if that’s not being too needy.” It is, though, holy shit, he sounds so pathetic.

Apparently, though, Jon finds it endearing (or at least that’s what Arin hopes the look on his face means), and before Arin even has time to register what is going on, he’s being stood up and taken by the hand across the restaurant. Jon pays the bill, much to the confusion of their waiter who hadn’t even given them their check yet, and then they are off. The night air is a bit chilly, and as they make their way to Jon’s car Arin starts to think that maybe one of the reasons he got so warm in that place was just because it wasn’t properly air-conditioned or something.

However, on their way back, Arin takes a quick look at Jon as he drives, and oh. Yeah okay, the lighting at the restaurant did help a ton, but it doesn’t change the fact that Jon really is especially handsome tonight. Even with just the shine from the dashboard and city lights, he still looks amazing. And despite his better judgement, Arin decides to place a hand on Jon’s leg, just to let him know that the silence between them still isn’t awkward at all. Jon doesn’t really respond, but Arin feels a muscle clench, so he must have gotten the message.

The ride home goes by without any major issues, and it’s not really until they’re walking up to Arin’s front door that everything hits him like a damn safe has been dropped on his head. He has reached into his pocket for the keys, and they are in the air, but he appears to have been frozen solid on the spot, because he suddenly can’t move. His heart is going a mile a minute, and he swears that the only reason he hasn’t dropped the keys is because they must be glued to his hand.

“Arin?” comes Jon’s concerned voice next to him, and oh God now Arin might actually be shaking slightly. He is just barely saved when he feels a reassuring hand on his own. “Dude, what’s wrong?”

“I- I don’t know,” Arin admits, allowing Jon’s hand to guide him into unlocking the damn door. “I think I just- like- Fuck, dude, I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

The door opens, they turn on the light and toe off their shoes, and then Jon immediately, though slowly, cups Arin’s face. “Well, if you’re still not sure, then there’s always the next big night,” he says, and oh God just that tone, Arin could fucking whimper from how sincere he is.

“Nono, I am, I’m sure,” Arin replies with a quick nod, trying to even his breathing to make himself sound believable. Because he is sure, he’s been sure since way before he even had that talk with Suzy that Jon wasn’t supposed to hear. “It’s just- a bit unbelievable, y’know? Not in a bad way or anything, just… Y’know, it’s- with you. And- and yeah, just that kinda stuff.”

Jon smiles, and Arin swears he has to know that this particular smile could reduce him to a puddle on the floor. He then lightly brushes his thumb over Arin’s cheek before leaning in to kiss him, and it takes all of Arin’s strength not to keel over at how tender it is. He closes his eyes and wraps his arms around Jon, pulling him closer both for support and some more contact. He then becomes aware of a hand on his lower back, and a small sound escapes him, like he wasn’t expecting it but still kinda wanted it but now that it’s there he doesn’t know what to do. He dares to deepen the kiss, opening his mouth ever so slightly just to see what it does, and Jon reciprocates, and it’s good, it’s all really good.

Arin draws back his hands a bit to latch onto the lapel of Jon’s jacket, and almost instantly Jon fucking puts his arms back so Arin can remove the thing oh God this is going so nicely, and Arin even momentarily wonders if he should bother to hang the jacket up but thinks better of it when he feels Jon’s hands back on him and yeah okay, the suits can get crumpled and dusty, fuck it. Now it’s Arin’s turn and Jesus how the fuck was Jon able to do that without fucking it up, Arin’s hands are still shaking slightly and he starts to think they’ll have to stop or something but with one swift movement his own jacket is off and yes, just a couple of more to go.

There are hands on his waist now, and Arin can’t help but let his hips nudge onto Jon’s as they kiss, and is delightfully rewarded with that favorite sound of his, as well as a very welcomed tongue in his mouth. Yes, yes, yes, God, this is everything, and oh fuck Jon is running his hands up and down his sides and they’re going down to his hips and his backside and whoa okay now there’s some definite cupping. It’s not exactly a first touch ever, but in this context it sure fucking feels like it, and Arin breathes out a small moan as Jon’s hands continue to wander.

Arin is so caught up in the moment that he’s still sort of kissing the air when he realizes that Jon has moved his kisses to his neck. He loosens Arin’s tie and even unbuttons his shirt a bit for better access, and Arin clutches at Jon’s shirt for some leverage because oh God this is happening. Jon’s lips slide wonderfully against his skin, and he’s somehow able to find the perfect spots to suck and nibble on, making Arin shiver and gasp. He places one hand on the back of Jon’s head, running his fingers through his thick hair, which makes Jon hum a bit in approval and oh _God_ this needs to go so much further so much faster or Arin will go insane.

“Jon, I- I appreciate- ah!- your eagerness,” Arin stammers in between his light moans, “but- don’t you think this should happen somewhere- other than- the hallway?”

“That depends,” Jon all but purrs against him and holy shit has Jon always been able to do that oh God. And whoa, whoooaa what is he doing where is his hand going fuck fuck fuck. “I mean hallway blowjobs after dates are all the rage, right?” he adds, licking up Arin’s neck as he palms Arin through his suit pants and FUCK.

“Hoooly fff--!” is all Arin manages before whatever he was about to say gets lost in a series of low moans as Jon fucking massages him. He was excited before, there was absolutely no doubt about that, but now he’s fucking actively getting hard (hard _er_? Oh fuck) at just hearing that, just the idea of it. Would he really? Now that it’s been brought up, Arin isn’t all too opposed to it, but- this is _Jon_. Does he seriously mean that? “I- Are you--?”

“Fuckin’ serious?” Jon finishes for him, drawing back from Arin’s neck to get on eye level with him again and wow holy shit they haven’t even done that much yet and Jon looks so disheveled. He removes Arin’s tie before doing the same to himself, and smirks, and Arin can just barely see a hint of a blush oh God does that mean… “If you’re up to it. I mean, it’s probably better to move to the bedroom but--”

Arin doesn’t let him finish, and yanks his hand to tug him towards the bedroom. His head is swimming and he wants nothing more than to keep going, so as soon as they’re in, he hastily unbuttons the rest of his shirt and throws it off, not even bothering to be decent with the removal of his undershirt.

“Dude you’re really into it now, huh?” Jon says, and it looks like he’s seriously about to be a tease with his own shirt buttons, so Arin literally takes it into his own hands.

“Shut up and let me do this,” he says, crashing their mouths together again as he goes through what feels like the thousands of buttons that are on Jon’s shirt before removing it. He tugs at the undershirt impatiently, forcing Jon to remove it before it gets torn up. Arin then wraps his arms around Jon and presses their bodies together, the both of them letting out their share of groans as they feel some proper skin on skin contact. And holy shit with them being so close now, Arin can actually feel Jon growing hard against him as well and Jesus fuck he suddenly just wants to grind until the sun comes up holy shit.

Jon’s hands are back in their proper place on Arin’s waist, but this time there is no wandering, and Arin finds himself being pushed back towards the bed. The back of his legs bump against the edge, and he allows Jon to dip him down until he’s lying on his back, with a very eager-sounding Jon on top of him. He then attacks Arin’s neck again, and Arin groans, his whole body shivering yet again.

“I swear to God, Arin,” Jon breathes against him, and holy fuck he’s trailing his kisses lower. “I mean every- single- fucking- thing- I’ve said, about you being fuckin’ gorgeous,” he continues, putting emphasis on each word with more kisses. Arin moans, and it’s starting to feel like there is heat radiating from Jon’s mouth and pulsing through his skin wherever his lips touch. “How could you think I wouldn’t want this?”

“You- you didn’t--” Arin begins, but is quickly silenced as Jon’s hand is on his crotch again, and fuck, Arin actually shivers at the touch. God how he wishes all of his clothes would fucking vaporize so he can get some proper contact.

“Yeah well look who’s talking now,” Jon growls, and oh God. Oh God he’s fucking unbuttoning Arin’s pants holy shit holy _fucking_ shit. Arin grabs a fistful of the sheets beneath him in one hand, while the other is back on Jon’s head for encouragement. “You do want this, right?”

“Yes, oh my God _yes_ ,” Arin can’t help but whine, his excitement going into fucking hyperdrive as he feels a tug on his pants. Oh God he’s going to be the first one to go full-on nude but he doesn’t even fucking remotely care because Jon is doing this and Jon wants this and he can’t fucking get over it. He feels his erection spring free and at the precise moment closes his eyes, his face to the ceiling. He’s a bit torn, because he doesn’t really want to look down on himself as it happens, but he wants to see Jon do it, and now he’s stuck in a vicious cycle and all he can do is breathe heavily until he fucking feels a hand on himself and- “Oooh my God.”

“This oughta be interesting,” he hears Jon say huskily, and then there’s another hand on his torso, tracing his body as he’s being lightly stroked.  It’s the second time tonight that the most minimal touch is making Arin feel way too much, but it has to be understandable this time, right? He is so fucking exposed, and it’s a first fucking time, and it’s a fucking _dude_ , and it’s fucking _Jon_ , and

And oh fuck that was a lick. That was an honest-to-God fucking lick, holy shit he’s actually doing it. Arin whines at the sensation, craving more of that if he can have it. Jon is taking his sweet time (understandably), and not really saying much which Arin isn’t sure is a good thing or not but he doesn’t care he just needs more, and finally he gets it, lips and tongue and all, and he lets out a desperate moan as Jon gradually builds up to some sort of rhythm. There seem to be hands everywhere now, on his stomach, on his legs, on his sides, even his shaft every now and then when Jon has to breathe. Arin feels bothered and hot, and is entirely unable to stop himself from letting out long, low groans as Jon goes on.

After a while (thankfully before Arin gets a bit too excited), Jon gradually stops, but keeps his hand in place, stroking Arin slowly as he hovers over him. “That’s one thing off my bucket list,” he says, and Arin opens his eyes to see a smug looking Jon fucking licking his lips just inches from his face, and he just about comes right then and fucking there. Arin’s hands shoot up to grab at Jon’s arms, inadvertently pulling him down slightly.

“My turn,” he hisses, and it clearly catches Jon off guard because even in his almost deliriously horny state, Arin is able to push him back so they are both on their knees on the bed. Instantly he wraps his arms around Jon and pulls him into a sloppy kiss, ignoring completely where his mouth last was because what the fuck ever. He then moves to Jon’s neck as he gets to work on the pants, reveling in the harsh breaths and groans he hears as a result. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, you just fuckin’ watch,” he growls hungrily as he somehow fucking manages to get the pants down and whoa fuck fuck, is he ready for this yes of fucking course he is Jon is fucking ready for him and he wants it too holy shit.

They turn so Jon can lie down this time, and much like Jon did before, Arin decides to take him in his hand before he does anything else. He decides to continue to kiss Jon as he does so, and feels incredibly proud of himself when Jon grabs his head to keep him steady. Relieved to know they’re both just as eager, Arin feels brave enough to nibble at Jon’s bottom lip before sucking on it in apology. The action combined with Arin’s hand movement clearly sets of a spark, and Jon is ever so slightly bucking his hips against him, and Arin actually has to groan at that because holy shit, _he_ did that. With some reluctance, Arin detaches himself from Jon’s lips in favor of placing his mouth somewhere else.

Once he’s down there, Arin is suddenly self-conscious again. Like yeah, he just talked big but can he actually do it well enough? He’s had his fair share of popsicles in his day but that can hardly be comparable. Whatever. Best to just dive in and see what happens. By instinct, the first thing he does is slowly lick it, which makes Jon groan above him, so okay good. He then works his way around it, mouthing around until he gets to the head, and as soon as he does, Jon shivers and a string of profanities escape him. The sound of it makes Arin let out a little hum as well, and he decides to get some more of it. So he takes Jon in, and immediately feels a hand in his hair and okay yes fucking yes.

The more he moves, the more he hears of those glorious fucking sounds. He keeps one hand on the base for some support, and bobs his head rhythmically, loving the way Jon’s grip on his hair tightens when he does something especially good.

“Fuck, Arin, you’re- you weren’t kidding,” Jon says between his groans, and Arin hums deeply around him again in response, causing Jon to tremble. Apparently he’s good, so at least he’s able to deliver on that promise. So he keeps going, eventually pushing further just to see how much he can take, but then gags slightly and has to draw back.

“Arin!” Jon exclaims, and it’s hard to tell if it’s from pleasure or something else. Before Arin can decide, Jon has sat up and cupped his face, and whoa is that some actual concern in his eyes through the arousal? “Oh my God, Arin, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Too much?” Arin croaks, and yeah okay, it was, because he needs to clear his throat.

Jon laughs, and lightly traces Arin’s neck where most of the strain was. “Yeah, for _you_ , maybe!” he says, and Arin can’t help but chuckle a bit with him. “Look, if you wanna try that sometime, that’s fine, but maybe not literally the _first_ time, alright?”

Arin nods, and smiles at him. “Alright, dick-suckin’ pro, chill out,” he jokes, and Jon sticks his tongue out. Arin shakes his head. “Man. I totally killed the moment.”

“Kinda, yeah,” Jon says, but nothing in his face indicates that he’s about to give it up, which makes Arin hopeful. Jon then moves his hands downwards slowly, tracing his fingertips over Arin’s skin, giving him actual fucking goosebumps. “Doesn’t mean it can’t be brought back.” And with that, their lips are connected again, and it’s like nothing out of the ordinary even happened.

With their positions, Arin dares to somewhat straddle Jon as they kiss, and they both let out deep groans when their cocks actually touch. One of Jon’s arms instantly comes around Arin’s waist to bring him closer, while the other takes them both and slowly strokes them. It is unlike anything Arin has ever felt, and he shakes a bit at the sensation, his nails digging into Jon’s skin where he’s holding onto him.

Soon, Arin has to break the kiss to catch his breath, because holy shit, it’s so fucking good. He presses his forehead against Jon’s as Jon continues to stroke them, starting to feel desperate. “Jon- Oh fuck, Jon,” he pants, not caring in the slightest how desperate he sounds. “Oh my God Jon, I need you. I want you. Right fucking now. Please!”

“Fuck, dude,” Jon groans, his grip on them loosening, and Arin uses the opportunity to climb off him to get the essentials for the next step. His hands are shaking slightly as he presents Jon with the bottle of lube, and he nods, lying back down as he waits for Jon to get ready. Arin just kinda lies there for a moment, listening as the cap pops and Jon apparently tries to steady his breathing (oh how Arin doesn’t blame him). Arin then feels the bed dip as Jon hovers over him, the two of them sharing a quick look of approval before Jon lightly traces at Arin’s hole with his finger.

His first reaction is to lightly gasp, because whoa the lube is a bit cold against him, but then Jon is just circling his finger a little, getting Arin wet, as it were, preparing him. Arin dares to grin up at him, and then tugs him down to kiss him as he gets adjusted. It’s nothing new, so he’s not totally overwhelmed – it’s just a bit weird because it’s another person doing it to him this time. Jon hums deeply against him as they kiss, slowly but surely inching his finger in, and Arin lets out a moan to let him know he’s doing good. Because he is, he really fucking is, and now Arin is wondering if it’s because Jon just knows how to take things slowly or if he’s been doing research or oh God what if he’s been doing it to himself too oh shit Arin absolutely cannot handle that thought, and groans again just as Jon pushes in further.

Once Arin is stretched just enough for Jon to move a little, he does, and the sliding feeling makes Arin draw back from the kiss to let out another sound. Jon lightly traces his lips over his cheek and to his jaw as he continues, and Arin wraps his arms around him in encouragement. “You okay?” Jon then asks, his finger still moving and curling a bit and oh God Arin is going to die tonight isn’t he.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m- I’m good,” he breathes before moaning yet again. “And actually, I think you can start adding a bit,” he then adds smugly, and soon Jon does just that, causing Arin to start grunting at the new feeling. There’s a hint of a burn, but Jon can apparently tell because he draws back to add even more lube (oh God Arin hopes they don’t run out), and once he’s back in he takes Arin in his other hand to soothe him and holy fuck Arin can definitely not help but groan loudly at that. “Fucking yes, please, just like that, oh my God.”

“Jeez, Arin, are you always this vocal?” Jon asks, and Arin can just hear the damn smugness in his voice. The question is followed by some added finger movements and strokes that make Arin tremble and moan and pant, like it doesn’t even matter what Arin says in response, Jon is still going to continue, and Arin loves it.

“Fuck off, man, I’m- ungh- telling you how- good you are,” he chokes out, and oh God Jon is really getting in there now and it’s so much but it’s still not enough and Arin is starting to get fucking impatient.

“I wasn’t complaining,” Jon replies, and holy shit holy fuck there it is there it fucking is Jon fucking hit it, and Arin fucking writhes beneath him and he’s getting increasingly louder but he doesn’t care in the slightest he just wants more of it and when he begs for it Jon delivers almost immediately and it’s three now and there’s still strokes and Jon’s mouth is back on Arin’s neck and Jesus fucking hell if they don’t start soon there’s not going to be much left of Arin to do anything with.

 “Jon…” Arin moans, panting as Jon continues to pleasure him with his fingers. “Jon, please. Please!”

Jon hums a little again, and nips right at Arin’s ear, as to bring even more shivers down Arin’s spine. “Please, what?” he purrs, and fucking hell it’s the hottest fucking thing Arin has ever heard in his goddamn life.

Arin groans in frustration, and tries to frown up at Jon when he hovers over him again, but fails as Jon twists his fingers inside him and any malice is slaughtered. “Would you _please_ just- Ooh my God just fuck me, for fuck’s sake!” he exclaims. Demands, even. Because yes, it’s come to that, apparently.

Almost as soon as he has let go of the last word, Jon is kissing him fiercely, and they both draw out deep groans as it happens. Jon moves his fingers out (and Arin totally does absolutely not whimper at the loss, no fucking way, nope, no sir), and then draws back from a still panting, anticipated Arin, and smirks. “I can’t say no to that,” he says, and Arin almost wants to smack him for being such a damn tease, like why is he dragging this on, why can’t he just start already FUCK.

But oh when Arin sees Jon put on a condom and slick himself up, it’s like any ill will towards him just evaporates, and Arin just stares, his stomach tying into knots both in excitement and anticipation. Jon moves forward, and reaches for the nearest pillow to put under Arin’s hips (oh God), and then lifts one of Arin’s legs for better access (oh _fucking_ God) before angling himself and pressing against Arin.

“Jon, come _on_ ,” Arin whines, and he has barely let go of the last word when Jon is pushing into him, and they both groan deeply. It takes all of Arin’s energy to focus on keeping himself relaxed to make it easier, and his moans grow a bit erratic the further Jon goes. It’s so agonizingly slow and seems to go on for fucking ever and even when Jon lightly pulls to test if he can move Arin just wants to push back against him like no get back in there.

When he’s finally all the way in, or as much as he can be at this point, Jon leans over, and the movement elicits a desperate, breathless groan from Arin, who just looks up at him and wow. Wowowow okay Jon has literally fucking never looked at him like that, and it’s so weird to see the clear lust and want in his eyes coupled with what Arin can only describe as a gentle smile on his face.

“You doing alright?” he asks as he experimentally begins to move at the slowest Goddamn possible pace ever, and even if Arin wants so much more than that, it’s still so incredibly fucking intimate that he can’t help but moan at the sensation.

“Beyond,” Arin then replies, arching his back a little as he actually feels himself loosen around Jon, the sliding becoming increasingly better with each tiny move and oh God it’s so good already it’s so fucking good. “You?”

“Bit- weird,” Jon says as he picks up the pace the tiniest bit and Jesus fuck this is more fucking like it, oh fuck if this keeps up then Arin is probably going to fucking crash somehow. “But fuck it’s- so good.”

He says it in such a way that it’s more of a grunt than a statement, and Arin joins him, accepting everything he gets and simply adoring how filled he feels, how perfectly Jon is moving, how incredible the slide feels, and how if they keep it up like this they can really get going. Arin hooks his leg around Jon to pull him closer, and accidentally makes it so Jon goes deeper than before, and he pants loudly at the sensation. It’s like he’s being torn open but so slowly that it’s erotic and filthy and he fucking loves it, and Jon apparently takes it as his cue to move for real, and that’s when all coherent thinking is completely lost.

Soon there is some proper thrusting going on, and Arin is a groaning, whimpering mess beneath Jon, who is doing things in the most expertly fashion and just the way he’s moving, the tight grip he has on Arin for some leverage, the wild, guttural sounds coming out of him; it’s all enough to make Arin wish they could just do this forever.

He starts chanting and moaning Jon’s name as everything gets faster and crazier, and is rewarded with his own name being groaned and panted back to him, and just the thought of who it is, the sound of that voice, the deep tone it can apparently reach when it’s clouded with arousal, it’s making Arin lose his Goddamn mind. His entire body is on fire, his nerves feel bare, and the slightest touch would probably be enough to make him crumble. He needs more, so much more, like how he’s been practicing. But he will be damned if he’s going to tell Jon to stop, because holy hell the man has crazy good endurance, and he’s going at it even faster and harder and holy fuck.

Arin’s vision is getting cloudy, and as soon as Jon reaches that sweet spot again, he swears his head is going to burst, and for a split second it’s like Jon is considering slowing down because it’s intense or something (does he say something about that? Arin doesn’t catch it) and Arin’s eyes immediately shoot open to glare up at him. “Don’t you fucking _dare_!” he half-screams, half-groans, and is rewarded with harder thrusts, causing him to cry out in complete fucking ecstasy. Because that’s what it’s starting to feel like. Jon is just so fucking good, _feels_ so fucking good, and God fucking dammit Arin wants him to feel the same. Jon can’t just do all the work. Well, actually he probably can, he’s been showing no signs of actually needing to stop so far, but fuck it, Arin is getting desperate.

“Jon- Jon, please, I--” he begins just as Jon thrust particularly well into him, and he groans. “Oh my God please, let me- ride you. Just- I wanna fuckin’ _do_ something.”

Jon slows down, but thankfully doesn’t stop, as he looks Arin over, like he’s searching for an instant change of mind or something like no Arin really fucking wants to do this how can he not see that? “Don’t think it’ll- be too much?” he asks, and oh God has he always been this considerate? Is that even the right word?

“I know what I can take, dude,” Arin pants back, and slowly backs away to give Jon an idea to pull out, which he does, and the two get into new positions, with Jon now half-sitting with his back against the headboard, and Arin climbing over him, now mentally preparing himself for what he’s about to do. He angles Jon’s cock upwards as he slowly slides himself down on it, which makes Jon let out the most delicious sound, the one Arin loves the absolute most. Once he’s all the way in, Arin rolls his hips a bit, and grabs onto Jon’s shoulders, letting out his own satisfied moan when Jon grabs tightly onto his hips. “Lemme show you what I’ve been doing in my spare time.”

And just like that, he starts moving, much like he’s actually been doing by himself. Except there’s a lot different about it this time, most of it having to do with the fact that he’s with another person now. And said person seems to be enjoying every single second of it. Jon leans his head back slightly, his grip tightening to the point where Arin feels nails digging into his skin, prompting him to go faster, harder.

Arin moves his hips around, uses his legs to help with the ride, and lets out loud groans as he does so. Jon even shifts a little so he can join in, and oh fuck oh fuck oh fuuuuuccckkk they’re meeting each other’s thrusts now and it’s all so fucking incredible and Arin’s blood is boiling and his muscles are cramping and his stomach his knotting and his throat is starting to dry up with the way he’s using it, and Jon is reaching all the best places, every single one of their thrusts hit, and Arin can feel himself getting close, so fucking close but he doesn’t know how to get there.

And then suddenly there’s a hand on his cock again and he cries out, it’s just what he needs, oh fuck, he can’t take it anymore. His body spasms and jerks and he’s sure he’s about to go blind as he comes so hard that he fucking screams, and even then he can’t fucking stop moving because he doesn’t want to lose the feeling ever, and Jon is still going holy shit, and his thrusts are getting uneven and fast and he’s panting out Arin’s name oh God he’s coming too oh God oh God Arin can feel it even through the fucking condom and Jon is just fucking riding it out like a champ holy fuck.

The two of them are both panting heavily as Jon’s movements slow down (warranted, for the first time), and Arin then eases off him, wincing a bit as he feels the craziness of what has just happened. Even in his completely dazed state, he generously takes the condom off with shaking hands, ties it up and throws it to where he thinks the trash is. He doesn’t even care at this point. As soon as he’s done, he collapses on top of Jon, who grunts in surprise at the sudden weight on him.

“Ew, dude, don’t- do that, I got your jizz all over me,” Jon says with a breathless laugh as Arin rolls off him to his side.

“If- I even fuckin’ remotely cared, I’d’ve cleaned you up first,” Arin mumbles, still trying to catch his breath. He settles next to Jon, wrapping an arm around him despite the mess, and nuzzles the crook of his neck. “You’re sweaty.”

Jon chuckles, snaking one arm under Arin’s neck to bring it around him, and pulling him closer. “Yeah well, I did just go through one hell of a workout,” he replies before planting a kiss on Arin’s equally sweaty forehead. The two of them just lie there for a moment, catching their breaths as they come down from their orgasms.

Arin is completely exhausted, but so filled with absolute bliss that he can’t help but tighten his hold on Jon, letting out a quiet giggle. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re a fucking beast in bed?” he asks quietly, unable to wipe the stupid grin off his face.

“And spoil the surprise? What kind of fuckin’ dickhead do you think I am?” Jon replies, and there’s something about the way his voice has softened that makes Arin’s heart flutter. “And hey, you’re pretty damn awesome yourself, cowgirl. I’m like legitimately impressed.”

There’s really no stopping the blush that creeps into Arin’s cheeks at that, and his grin widens. He buries his face into Jon’s neck and just holds him affectionately, allowing every warm, fuzzy feeling to fill him up. And when he feels Jon’s lips press against his forehead again, he can’t help but crane his neck up to meet them, and the two share a short, chaste kiss before Arin’s head plops back down again. “I still can’t believe we did this,” he then says, feeling his head start to swim a bit in both happiness and tiredness.

He can’t see Jon’s face, but the slight huff Arin hears tells him that he’s smiling. “And would you wanna do it again someday?” Jon says, and Arin would totally pinch his stupid gut if he had any energy left.

“Don’t fuckin’… Don’t even ask that question when you know the answer’s gonna be yes,” he replies, and earns a light rub on his shoulder for it. Jon then shifts a little so that they’re facing each other, and Arin blearily looks into his eyes, smiling despite himself. “What?”

“I love you,” Jon replies, and if Arin hadn’t already been turned into mush at this point, he probably would have melted. Because wow. That is probably the most genuine, sincere way Jon has ever said those words to him. Jon even goes so far as to bring his free arm around Arin’s waist and pull him closer, and lightly kisses him again. “Like, for real.”

Arin smiles, and it’s probably a bit too wide because he swears his cheeks are hurting a bit. “That’s a lot coming from you, mister ‘sincerity-makes-me-nauseous’,” he says, and they laugh quietly.

“Sap is for VIP members only, you know that,” Jon says with a bright smile, the one that Arin knows truly means he’s being earnest.

“Yeah, I know,” Arin replies, bringing one hand up to cup Jon’s face. “And for the record, if it wasn’t already obvious, I love you too. Like, ridiculously much.”

Jon’s cheeks clearly grow a bit pinker, and Arin loves the sight of it. And just knowing how he’s able to have that effect on him. “It _is_ all a bit ridiculous, I’ll give you that,” Jon says, and then nuzzles their noses together. “But also, we’re gonna be super gross tomorrow if we fall asleep like this.”

“I have a shower we can use tomorrow, and until then I am not moving from this spot,” Arin says, tightening his hold on Jon to emphasize his words. And seriously, if Jon so much as thinks about moving just yet he will personally hold him the fuck down.

“Alright, alright, messy cuddles it is,” Jon says with a quiet giggle before pressing their foreheads together. “That’s doable, I guess.”

Arin grins. “You mean like me?” he says, and the tired wheeze Jon lets out in response makes him smirk triumphantly.

“Would you shut up and let me try to be all lovey for once?” Jon replies, and playfully pinches Arin’s side.

“Okay, fine, sorry,” Arin says, brushing his thumb over Jon’s cheek before kissing him again, slowly and lovingly, portraying all the emotions he doesn’t quite have the words for right now. But Goddammit he means them so much.

When they pull back, they both keep their eyes closed, and just take in each other’s warmth. Arin is close to giving up trying to stay awake, and so fully embraces it when his body slowly starts to shut down. His hand on Jon’s face drops down to his chest, and he lets out a deep, satisfied sigh, feeling so damn full of love and affection that if he wasn’t so tired, he probably wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

He can hear one more “I love you” from Jon just before he dozes off.


End file.
